First of all I would like to thank everyone who is praying for me. You have no idea how much it means to me, the amount of support I have from everyone. I wanted to tell how this sickness has affected me. One of the hardest things for me is that the sickest takes away my personality. I can’t be me. I don’t have the energy to be the energetic active person that I am. Before I was the one planning get togethers and creative things to do. I would run around and talk to everyone. Now its like I’m a fly on the wall I have to hang on my little sister’s arm so I don’t fall over and even just talking to people takes so much energy that it seems like I have one fourth of my old personality. It’s hard not having people see the real you. But I think the number one thing that is the hardest with the sickness is feeling like you’re not an effective servant. I went from being a missionary leading a school with around 500 students to pretty much laying in my bed all day. I got the privilege of witnessing to those students every day, it was amazing. I know I’m sick for a reason and God can use it. It’s just hard I want to go out and witness to people but I don’t have the strength. During worship time at church a lot of times I don’t even have the strength to raise my hands to praise him the way he deserves to be worshiped. I know God has a plan and that is the only thing that gets me through. I just want to be used. ---Larissa
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